Thursday, 10 May 2007

Fuckwit support at Corel

If you read my previous blog you will see that Vista, Paint Shop Pro and Liam are having a little bit of a falling out.

Ringing support, I was answered by somebody who appeared utterly bored with her job and was desperate to get down the pub and talk about all the freaks with Vista that ring up for help with Paint Shop Pro XI. Perhaps all you lucky people with old versions of Paint Shop Pro (probably the ones made by Jasc) and Windows XP should ring Katie at Corel and tell them their program works fine.

Anyway she clearly likes me because she sent me an email.

Dear Mr Thom,

1. Point your web browser (Internet Explorer) to the following location. This will load the Download page of our FTP Server. If you receive an error message when loading this page, you’ll need to enable "FTP folder view". In Internet Explorer Use Tools Options, Click the Advanced tab and mark the "Enable Folder View for FTP sites".

2. Locate the file ZapPS.exe

3. Left-click and drag the file from the Download page window to your Computer Desktop (you can also copy/paste by right-clicking on the file and choosing copy and then right click on your desired destination and choosing paste). This will transfer the file from our server to your computer.

4. When done downloading the file, browse to the location of the saved file. Double left-click on it to launch it.

5. >From the Product Drop-down menu, choose the version of PSP you’re uninstalling. For example, Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo XI.

6. Under Actions, add a checkmark next to all 4 options - Uninstall, Run MSI Zap, Remove Registry Keys, Remove Installed Files.

7. Choose Begin. The utility will begin to uninstall Paint Shop Pro. Then the utility will remove all other portions of the program. Note: The files you have created, edited or saved with Paint Shop Pro will NOT be deleted, moved or changed.

8. Once the entire process is complete, manually delete any remaining Paint Shop Pro files. Use My Computer to access one of the following location. The locations are specific to the version of Paint Shop Pro you’re removing.

C:\Program Files\Corel\Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo XI

1. Go to Start Run
2. Type msconfig and click on OK
3. Go to Services and click on "Hide all Microsoft Services" and then on "Disable all"
4. Go to Startup and click on "Disable all"
5. Click on OK and restart the computer
6. Install Paint Shop Pro Photo XI and all updates
7. Go to Start Run
8. Type msconfig and click on OK
9. Choose "Normal Startup" and click on OK

Yours sincerely

_Katie Pritchard_Corel EMEA Technical Support Agent
_Deutschland 0800 101 6079
_Österreich 0800 677 027
_Schweiz (Deutsch) 0800 000 787
_UK 0800 376 9271
_Fax.: +44-1628-589-879

Liam's reply having wasted a quarter of an hour doing what I had already done:

"1 minute and 45 seconds to open up. That's actually a bit slower than before. Any ideas?"

Katie's reply:

Dear Mr Thom,

Please try creating a new user profile in Windows and see how the program runs under the new profile.

Yours sincerely

Katie Pritchard

OK I smell a get-out here but I did what I was told.

"Hello Katie, that worked for the new account. Opened up in 10 seconds. Still takes a minute or more on the usual account."

Katie's reply:

Dear Mr Thom,

In that case you will need to use the new account as your default account.

Yours sincerely

Katie Pritchard


She wants me to reset all my favourites, addresses, passwords and emails then move 100 GB of files to a different part of my hard drive because I have a bug with Paint Shop Pro?

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

Paint Shop Pro

As I mentioned in my first lesson, Paint Shop Pro 8 doesn't work properly with Vista. It installs OK but crashes when you try and crop things. So I have installed Paint Shop Pro XI instead. And the patch to make it work with Vista.

So that should work well then. You'd have thunk.

Paint Shop Pro likes to build up a database of pictures on computers, presumably so it can report kiddy-porn to the European Union and the Daily Mirror. Vista likes to protect you from this intrusion in your privacy so that while installing Paint Shop Pro on XP causes a huge crashing of hard drives, on Vista it pauses with a "erm... this isn't quite working properly, look innocent" expression.

That isn't the issue. The problem is the 78 seconds it stands about whistling while it opens up every time after the initial install. "Updating cache settings" it says. Fibber. "Trying to persuade your computer to have a peak at your piccies". Would be more correct. The Corel (makers of PSP XI) web site claims this bug is fixed. Not in the Brave New World of Windows Vista.

OK I can wait a couple of minutes for a program to open; but it is then seriously sluggish. Every task - like mousing over an icon(!) takes an age. Cropping an image takes an age because the lines move way after the command has been issued. It's like working on a satellite link.

The answer? I suspect it has to be XP. The nice people at Corel haven't come up with a solution so what else can I do?

Ubuntu isn't the answer. I am writing this on a laptop with Ubuntu running on it and I really like the operating system, but I have seven years of project files for programs that run on Windows, several of which will not run on Unix.

Or Vista, apparently.